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"Don't be afraid that your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin" - Grace Hansen
Having to go through this journey has meant that I have discovered so much about myself and those around me.I found that I had an inner strenght to deal with each new step, strenght that I didn't know I had. I discovered new friends from unexpected places and enormous kindness and love from old ones. I also lost a couple of friends - perhaps they found it hard to deal with my illness.
Friends and Family
Inevitably friends and family have been the mainstay of my support network. I have been reduced to tears by the thoughtfulness of people - a 'healing' poncho cape arrived when I trouble lifting my arm over my head to put a jumper on; some soft hats appeared for my bald head; a heatable bean bag for aching muscles; lemon and aloe vera soap to mask the hospital smells; organic camomille cream to rub on my scars; cooling hair mask for my scalp; CD to listen to and poetry to read. I am incredibly blessed with amazing friendships.
The most simple things like a postcard from Bournemouth would bring a smile to my face and then there things that took my breath away, like the friend who dropped everything to be with me at one of the chemo sessions. Along with the gifts, cards, letters and emails I had visits and telephone calls which kept me in touch with the outside world. More>>>.....
Professionals
Through both sets of treatment for breast cancer, I have been lucky to have excellent treatment with on the whole caring staff. The only exceptions were the one surgeon who was very dismissive and insensitive about the impact on being able to have children and the anaethistist before the lumptectomy who ignored me and left me cold and scared on the trolley before finally knocking me out! The presence of a breast care nurse was a godsend. They bring humanity and understanding to the whole process and are capable, caring and incredibly well informed.
Getting in touch with local support groups can be very helpful. As a relatively young woman, I found it quite hard to identify with some of the pictures of mastecomies and lumpectomies of mainly older woman with huge sagging breasts! I volunteered to have my photos taken as I thought it was important to have a broader range of photos available for other women. Being premenopausal means that there are specific issues that are good to share with others in the same boat.
Contacting national support groups such as Breast Cancer Care (helpline 0800 800 6000) can be vital at times of despair. I spoke to Jane once, who listened, listened and listened and then gave me some very sound advice and a bumper pack of information.
Cancerbacup also has a range of information with a facility to create personalised pages of information to retrieve when you need it.
You will find lots of US resources and sites on the internet. I joined the Breast Cancer Awareness ring and made contact with women throughout the world.
Want to join the Breast Cancer Awareness ring?
Useful websites
Just a few of those that I have found helpful in one way or another.
Breast Cancer Care - provides a helpline, website and a range of publications in the UK
Cancerbacup - national support organisations for all types of cancer
Lavendertrust.org.uk - provides support and information for younger women with breast cancer. I always try and get my Christmas cards and other presents from here to support them.
Young survival coalition excellent USA website with .pdf instructions on self examination
The Mestatic Life - Lisa Pierot
The Daisy network - books available on premature menopause and childlessness
Beyond Childlessness - listing of resources and reviews of the book
