...Necessity also is an object of exploration

- Simone Weil

Jan had undergone chemotherapy a year before me and sent me a piece about steel that she wrote during the first session of chemotherapy that she had. It helped her to clear the mind and focus on letting the drugs do their work.

She said "It may be one reason why I have not let myself get angry, so as not to loose concentration. The notion of steel as a form of strength came from a friend of mine who had just lost her husband, and the mind picture that evolved stays with me to this day"

As well as this wonderful poem, Jan got me to see the treatment in terms of percentages. As I write this I am more than 50% of the way through and am looking forward to being 75% through the week after next!

She also sent me a mean hair mask which helps to cool my burning scalp and which (if she is anything to go by...!) should result in luxuriant regrowth once the chemo is over and done with!

Relax

Tell the body how to work with the mind.

Cocoon yourself - feel

Warmth, comfort, the basic level of love

where you are safe, contained,

able to view the outside without fear.

Steel yourself - wrap

the strong, rounded, shiny, hard

indestructible cloak around you now.

Its surface is smooth, so not abrasive,

allowing you to be temperate, tolerant,

patient, withstanding, open

vulnerable to the unexpected;

not willing to fight or go against change

that leads to good.

You can come in.

I welcome you in to purge and cleanse me.

Thank you for the difficult job you have to do.

There's nothing to fight. I am a child of God.

I will work with you.

Not just today, but everyday.