The Absence of God
by Richard Holloway (broadcast in edited
form on BBC Radio Four on 11 March 2009
under the title Crave for Less)
I
love the story about the composer who played his latest composition for
a friend. When he finished
there was a brief silence; then, uneasily, his friend asked: ‘What
does it mean?’ The
composer looked at him, said nothing, turned back to the piano – and
played it again.
The
story points up two important matters. The first is the way we tend to privilege words in the sphere of
meaning, something the composer challenged by refusing to translate one
form of expression - music, into another - language.
I have to confess that I suffer from this kind of prejudice for
words myself. I find it
hard to grasp the meaning of things unless they are worded for me, put
into language. I take this
prejudice into art galleries when I go to look at pictures. Not content with looking and letting the art disclose its
own meaning to me in its own way, I dive immediately
for the label beside the painting to find out what I’m looking
at. Until I get something
in writing I am uneasy: picture has to become word before I know how to
interact with it.
This is a
weakness I am trying to correct, but it is not easy after a lifetime
addicted to words. I am
learning to look, so that pictures can disclose their meaning to me
unmediated by language. I find it hard, yet I know that some of the keenest human
experiences are beyond any words to describe.
That’s why the American painter Edward Hopper said if he could
say it he wouldn’t have to paint it. Take the feeling of loneliness as an example. It’s not easy to communicate it in words, but artists like
Hopper have painted it with heart-breaking clarity. You look at a Hopper painting and feel the loneliness penetrate
you like a sliver of ice.
Music
can do this as well. Take
the experience of loss and sadness, and think of music you know that has
swept over you like a wave of sorrow. The unsayable, wordlessly expressed with almost unbearable
intensity.
So, even if we
love language, as I do, and wonder at its ability to touch our souls to
the quick; and even if we think it is still the best means through which
to express our most precious emotions and recognitions; we have to admit there is a problem with some of the claims that
have been made for it, which brings me to the second matter.
When
they are thinking about the limitations of language, philosophers talk
about the problem of equivalence, which goes something like this: because of the special position language holds in our culture, we
think we ought to be able to put everything into words, make words
equivalent to other realities. We think that if we can say it we can get it.
But
there is no exact verbal equivalence to even the most prosaic item. Words are the names we give things, the signs we create to point
to them, but the things themselves are not what we say they are: the
word water is not drinkable, nor is the word bread eatable. Writers who work with language as their chosen medium know these
limitations better than anyone. All
the time they are trying to get beyond the words to communicate the
experience that lies behind them. That’s
why the guiding mantra for writers is, ‘Show, don’t tell’; show me your hero is charming, don’t tell me he is;
demonstrate the courage of your heroine, don’t tell me she’s
brave. Get as close as you
can to giving the reader the experience you are trying to describe. Go beyond the words, get through them to the reality, the
experience you are trying to communicate.
The
issue is this:
if going beyond words is difficult at the immanent level, the level that is available
to our senses, then it is infinitely more difficult at the transcendent
level, the level beyond the physical where we locate the possibility of
the mystery we call God.
We
experience a double difficulty here. Even if we accept the limitations of language for everyday
things; even when we accept that the word water is not itself water, but
is merely a token we have coined to enable us to describe or talk about
it; we also know that even if words failed us and we lost the power of
thought, we could at least
go on drinking the reality we
call water. The substance
is available to our senses, even if we accept that no word can capture
its essence and importance to us.
Well,
God is not like any other reality. Even for people who claim to believe
in him, he is not available to their senses the way water is. Of course, you may be going through the desert without water, but
even then you know that water exists somewhere, that you have drunk it, bathed in it, and now remember it with desperate
longing.
It
is not like that with God and never has been - in spite of what has been
said about him. As far as
our senses go, God has
always been absent, never been there in the way we know there is water
somewhere, even if we
happen to be going through a waterless wilderness. That’s why we invented a word to express the possibility of an
ultimate reality beyond anything we could touch or experience: the word
is transcendent, which suggests the possibility of that which
lies beyond any human understanding or experience.
The
puzzle that gnaws at our minds is how to explain the fact that there are
facts, that there is something rather than nothing. We can experience the physical universe, touch it, drink it, name
it; but we cannot actually find words to account for where or how it
came to pass, because there is no "there" to point at and name.
Since we are not very good at living with uncertainties and
mysteries, two attempts have been made to resolve the situation, neither
very satisfactory. And since we
cannot get outside the universe to account for it, we postulate possible
solutions to the mystery of its existence.
One answer, prominent at the moment, says
the universe is self-created and popped out of nothing. Since it is hard to get your head round that idea, scientists
offer a term to fill the gap, borrowed from mathematics, called a
singularity. Singularities
are unknowns that defy the current understanding of physics; infinitely
small, infinitely dense somethings, from which everything has
emerged.
Being the indefatigable explorers they are, it is not hard to
imagine that one day scientists will find out more about this
vanishingly complex hypothesis; but even if they manage to nail it down
and tell us more about it, they’ll still have to account for it,
say something about where it came from. We’ll inevitably have to ask them this question: if the
universe came out of this, where did this come out of?
It
was to avoid that infinite regression that we came up with another
possible explanation, the one we coined the word transcendent to point
to. Beyond the material
realm, it is suggested, there must be a non-material, self-conscious intelligence that caused the physical universe to
be: and "God" is the name we have given to that hypothesis.
But even this
apparently powerful causal option offers no escape from dizzying
regression, because even God is open to the naïve challenge: "Mummy,
who made God?" This is
actually a good question, and one to which no really satisfactory answer
has ever been given.
The classical answer is what philosophers would call meaning
by definition: God, the reply goes, is self-caused and self-existent – that’s what
the word "God" means. God is the uncaused cause, the unmade maker, the uncreated
creator; but by offering those modifiers you have not actually added any
new information; you’ve just built the answer to the question into the
definition of the term "God"; like the doctor in Molière who when asked
how opium induced sleep replied that it contained a sleepy faculty whose
nature is to put people to sleep.
Nevertheless,
since most people don’t
like sliding down the slippery slope of endless regression, they build
ledges on which to stand with some confidence: either by opting for the
possibility that the universe can account for its existence within its
own natural integrity; or by opting for the supra-natural or
transcendent agency of an intelligence that is outside nature but gives
rise to it.
In our time the
arguments between these two possible explanations are being debated with
increased ferocity, probably because neither side is able to deliver the
knock-out blow to the other.
My
difficulty with this debate is that if we have a problem with how to
speak of or name what is available to our senses, how can we speak of or
name what is beyond our senses? If
it is tough enough talking about what we have seen, how on earth are we
to talk about what we cannot see?
This
difficulty applies to both ends of the debate about what caused the
universe, but recently I have had more trouble at the God end of the
debate. I have felt glutted
with the verbal promiscuity of religion and the absolute confidence with
which it talks about that which is beyond our knowing.
One of the biggest ironies here is that in one of the great
Christian poems we are told that God, aware of the inadequacy of words,
empties himself of language and becomes flesh, becomes that which is
available to our senses, a life. Yet
along comes poor little talkative Christianity and turns flesh back into
words again, trillions of them, poured out incessantly in pulpit, book and on the airwaves, reducing the mystery of that which is
beyond all utterance into chatter.
I mind religious verbal over-confidence more than I mind its
atheistic opposite, because atheists are not claiming to put ultimate
reality into words.
Speaking
entirely personally, and without wanting to generalise or universalise
my own struggles, I have to admit that religious language has ceased to
be able to convey the mystery of the possibility of God for me,
precisely because it confidently claims to be able to make present that
which I only experience as absence, though it is an absence that
sometimes feels like a presence, the way the dead - great writers, for
instance - sometimes leave
an unfading impression on the rooms they spent their lives in.
I
don’t want to go back to the days when I had to name that absence.
Even back then I felt insecure whenever I was called upon to offer a
description of that great absence. The best I was able to do was to persuade myself and others to
choose to live as if the absence contained a presence that was
unconditionally loving. That
possible identification, I thought, was surely worth betting my shirt
on. It came as a relief
when I was able to name my belief as an emptiness that I was no longer
prepared to fill with words.
But
though I lost the explanatory words for it, probably for ever, sometimes
that absence came without word to me in a showing that did not tell. So it is now the absence of God I want to wait with and be
faithful to.
In this
determination I have been helped
by the words of a thinker and mystic who herself mistrusted words about
God, Simone Weil. Recently,
an Australian poet called James Charlton sent me a poem he had written
about a time in her life when she worked in a vineyard; the poem
contains quotations from her notebooks and journals. Poets, paradoxically, use words to take us beyond words into a
silence that can itself be the experience of absence.
I want to end with his poem, because it took me beyond words into that absence that may even
be a kind of presence.
She bends in opaque light, in heat-blaze;
picks grapes, prunes thoughts and words.
A hare crouches near the vines:
fully attentive, no muscular effort,
no brow-wrinkling concentration.
The vines’ silent liturgy: stem, branch,
stalk, leaf. Attend
the planet’s rhythm, repeat
the Rhône Valley’s quiet recitation of pure grape,
nine hours each day.
In borrowed cape and boots, Simone
pursues her life’s anomaly: to crave for less,
achieve peace with loss of all sense
of presence. Truth
is conveyed by what is withheld.
Attend, recite, repeat: stem, stalk, sap.
She picks her way into autumn,
the body’s rhythm. Snip
this tangle,
snap tendril; shift away from words.
A brace of ravens waddles down a furrow,
lunges at each songbird.
Nature’s
daily work;
truth of world as is.
I’d rather be an atheist with passion
for Earth than a consoled Christian.
Give up self-questioning, abandon
the search. Relinquish
the mind’s
mythographic cast. Accept the void
of letting-be.
It is not
for me to seek, or even to believe
in God. I have only to refuse belief
in gods that are not God.
Each pilgrim vine is circumscribed yet wayward;
each cluster blazing purple in light,
cold black in shade.
Only the lived reality has point.
Can trellises entwine the vine?
Then excise all belief: face emptiness.
Expose the mesh of long-held shibboleths;
defy the grid imposed upon
the world’s real
labour. [1]
______________________________________________________
[Home]
[Back]
|