Something Happened, Didn't it?

Ray Scraggs


When ever I think of you
I get confused
And I try to fix
What can?t be fixed
I also find it hard to tell
The bad from the good
And I don?t understand
Why this should be
And I?m left thinking what was it
That you actually wanted from me

I can?t seem to see
The beauty
That must have been
In our long and
Passionate coupling
All I feel is left
Are questions
Of why this?
Why that?
Of something unsaid
Of something undone
I just don?t understand
Being in love is supposed to
Be different
Isn?t it?

So every scratchy scene of our
Love affair gets replayed
Over and again
I seem to be looking for an answer
I mean there must have been something good
Or else I wouldn?t have hung around for so long
Mustn?t there?

But perhaps it was just
The love that I had for you
That kept me hanging on
The rest
The relating
The reality of the day to day
The moment to moment
That was too difficult
And actually no fun

And the love
That glorious soaring love
That sweet searing
Invention of mine
That I generated
And gave to you
Was really all the beauty
There was
In the time
We spent in
The space of
Each other?s life


And now that love
Doesn?t seem real
It wasn?t real
And not worth the effort
Just some celluloid derived
Fantasy and fiction
Illusion and lie
That was seeded in my mind
By something
By persons
By events unknown
That carried me away
And took me to you
And taught me to create
This big bag of
Emotion
That I then proceeded
To give to you
Unasked
But it was just too much for you
And I don?t think its something
You even wanted
Or knew what to do with

So all this feeling
Wasn?t really anything to do with
You
Or me and you
Or you and me
Just
Me
Just some emotion
That was spawned by
Something I saw in you
That was not true
That did not exist
I was in love with a ghost
In love with being in love
Not by who you really are
I mean you were not my friend
You could never be my friend
We are so different
So unlike each other
We never talked about anything
And I like to talk
Its like I loved you but didn?t like you

So why all this emotion
For you
I don?t know
When there were far
Worthier than you
That have crossed my path
That deserved to have
The best of what I gave to you
But couldn?t give to them

But after all
That has been
I?m glad I met you
And because of you
I will never be the same
But you will never know this
And I think that?s sad


E-mail Ray


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