The Lost Works of Shakespeare

Laurence Overmire

Thank God the truly wretched works of 
Were never produced or brought to light. 
For that small piece of good fortune 
The old bard must be truly grateful. 

Think of it 
They must have existed once 
Little-known drafts of real stinkers like 
"Cicero’s Bathtub" 
A horrid little tragedy in the Greco-Roman style 
Or perhaps 
"Helmut und Brunhilde" 
An impossibly unfunny romantic comedy set 
In a German brothel. 

No.  They are forever lost to our great relief. 
Had they been extant, surely some high-minded 
Critic, quick to make a name 
Would have declared them masterpieces 
And some sleazy production company 
Would have turned them into 
Even cheesier Movies of the Week.  

E-mail Laurence

Panic! Poets

Panic! Art Gallery