Confusing oral sex
With fiscal policy,
 
Pretending to be
A socialist,
 
Telling anecdotes
Of other’s woes,
 
Drinking whisky
With lemonade,
 
Taking science
Seriously,
 
Turning up
On the wrong date,
 
Supporting terrorism
out of spite
 
Mouthing off
About bleeding hearts,
 
Stubbing out fags
On the window frame
 
Condescending to 
Give a damn,
 
Living on drug money,
 
Telling complete strangers
You worship them,
 
Jumping a red light
While ratfaced,
 
Pretending to be
Inviolable,
 
Sending heartache
To Purgatory,
 
Talking to virgins
About masturbation.