"Hello, gentlemen. My apologies for the delay, but I am sure that you will agree this was worth waiting for. So without further introduction, I give you this unique presentation:

The Syphilis Tank(tm)'s first installment of...

Randy Reginald, 78, loves to attend public debates where he enjoys discussion age-related issues. To relax, Reg likes rollerblading and jacuzzis. "I love nothing more than a cosy night in," he adds. Although Reggie used to play the violin semi-professionally, he had never anticipated the fame and adulation he would receive as the first ever star of the prestigious Old Man Porn page at The Syphilis Tank. "I just hope people don't try to stop me on the streets for a quick fumble in a dark alley," roars Reg. You have been warned...

Hot and sexy Graham, 145, is so excited by his appearance at The Syphilis Tank that he can't remember his own name. At five feet six and seven stone, Graham's petite body leaves nothing to be desired - even by the most discerning reader. "It's like I always say," rants Graham, "if you've got it, try to give it to as many people as you can before you die."

Any suggestions that this page lacks taste should be addressed to thesyphilistank@hotmail.com.
Meanwhile, hold on to your seats until the next improbable PORN page is up.