…envisage the scene…
 

A small, purple planet at the wrong end of the galaxy.

A handful of insignificant blue-green life forms laze in the
shallow orange waters of one of the larger craters in its pock-
marked surface.Tentacles drag lazily in the protean slime; telescopic
eyes focus blearily; retractable sphincters release plumes of sickly-sweet
vapour into the rapidly thinning atmosphere; three suns set in a haze of mucal green.

Suddenly, a strange blue light appears in the sky. It grows brighter. Evidently, something is approaching. The life forms become dimly aware of its presence. Even the least evolved breaks off in mid-eructation to twitch an antenna in its general direction. Dimly perceptible movement ripples through the assembly: swamp gases billow and clot. Something is arriving…

The silver-hulled craft slides smoothly through the opacity. Slender limbs unfold in a complex ballet of technology. A ramp appears. The creatures tense. Is it finally to happen? Is this the prophesied coming, so long awaited?

Down the ramp shuffles a strange procession of white-clad, other-worldly figures, peering incuriously about them. Ribbons and bells adorn their strangely-worked space-suits; helmets are fringed with flowers and plaited reeds; small squares of woven matter float eerily in the low gravity atmosphere; at their head strides a burly figure from whose oxygen-fed machine emerge reedy, alien patterns of sound.

It speaks: "Not another dry spot? Oh, well, let's get on with it then!"

Suddenly, all is action. The creatures stumble, trip and gyrate, waving their rags, waggling etiolated lumps of vegetable growth, leaping impossibly high in the zero-grav atmosphere - and all accompanied by a cacophony of discord from the statuesque machine minder.

And then, just as suddenly, all is over. Gyrations cease, the figures retreat, the ramp retracts and the ship slides noiselessly back through the vapour. All is silent.

At last, one life-form speaks: "Was it… the prophesied coming?"

"Nah", comes the instant reply. "Just bloody Leeds Intergalactic Morris. They've extended their tour again".

"They say it's an earth tradition"

"Is it buggery!"