Entry E
Things are not what they seem.
I had been on line over a year. I discovered early on the existence of discussion/bulletin boards. Those associated with my work and hobbies were favourite evening haunts. One particular board, seemed far more homely than others. I felt I belonged there. I felt accepted from the moment I set foot on this board. Lets call it the Football board.
After many a month on the net, I felt I knew most tricks of the trade. Then one of the friends I had met on the Football board sent me an invitation to join an instant messaging service. I had never heard of such facilities. Still, I duly laded up the programme that my friend had sent, then began my life on, lets call it RUIN, pronounced Are You In? The programme allows one to enter as much detail as one wishes - where one is from, age, gender, hobbies, job etc. I completed a truthful profile but with a porosity of detail.
I duly registered myself on RUIN. As sure as apples are apples, the friend who recommended me, lets call him Mark, appeared on the list of contacts as “on line”. Mark and I had exchanged a few e-mails in the past, principally on the various Football topics. However, here he started asking what I considered to be very leading questions: What do I do for a living? How much do I earn? How long have I been married? Any children? Although I hardly knew Mark, I had “hardly known” him progressively over a number of months, thanks to the Football forum. Protected by the partial anonymity of the net I felt compelled to divulge much of this information. Although none of the admissions to my knowledge has been used against me, I felt that RUIN was one of those vehicles where people confide in each other with a feeling of ease.
The Football forum continued to thrive with regulars coming and going with the seasons. The flavour of the forum changed over the months, but the atmosphere remained solid. People continued to get to know one another. RUIN though opened up a whole new sector of my mind. Several people contacted me via “Random” - a method of meeting new people. Some of these were genuine people with similar hobbies to my own wanting to extend their circle of friends; others were up to no good - either “fishing” for detail or cheap thrills. Some of these “others” were obvious from their opening gambit, while others were apparently from the former category but soon displayed their true colours. However, there were a few people who approached me that did not have anything greatly in common, nor did they have any obvious ulterior motive. These people have changed my life.
I feel empathy with these people. I have never met them, nor they me, yet we know more about each others’ lives than that of our respective close families. We reminisce and pour troubles out to each other, safe in the knowledge that it is a confidential discussion. We sense each other’s problems often before a word is typed. We sympathise. We make sensible and not so sensible suggestions and decisions based on what we feel and see on RUIN. This is a wonderful extension to our lives. Or is it? How real are the profiles these people portray? Howcome we can anticipate each other’s problems? Is it empathy or are we all just replaying a few well-rehearsed scripts with subtle twists? How safe are the secrets we confide in each other? How real are the people?... their problems? Is this group just a few well-educated but otherwise bored people getting kicks without using chemical substances? I have my opinion on these questions. Its firm too. The trouble is, my firm opinion changes almost every night.
Important: The above is a work of fiction. Any similarity to individuals or scenarios is purely coincidental.