Hope Has a Place
Part Eighteen
~ ~ ~

You think he loves you?

You think you're special?

He hates you.

He thinks you're filth.

He thinks you're dirty.

He'll leave you.

He'll never marry you.

You were mine first.

Harry woke up to an empty bed, the bedclothes tangled around his legs, his chest heaving for breath as he tried to will himself to calm after the nightmare, Lupin's voice ringing in his mind. He had to keep reminding himself that Lupin was dead and couldn't hurt him anymore, no matter what went on in dreams. It was a nightmare, not real. Not real.

But the empty bed was and he panicked at Severus being gone before he remembered. It was the night before their wedding and according to tradition, they were both sleeping separately tonight. Harry was at the Burrow and Severus was at their house in Hogsmeade. They wouldn't see each other until the wedding in the morning.

Harry lay back down and tried to get back to sleep, but it was no use, sleep just wouldn't come. He got up and wandered over to the wardrobe where his wedding outfit was hanging up. Everything was silk, a pair of forest green trousers, an overtunic in russet tones and a long sweeping robe of green comepleted the sensemble. The colours shimmered in various shades depending on the light.

Severus would be wearing an almost identical outfit, the traditonal wizard wedding robes, but in the opposite colours, his tunic would be green, his trousers and outer robe would be russet. Neither of them had seen the other in their wedding finery and Harry was curious to see how the man looked in colours other than black and white. He found it hard to imagine the man in any other colour.

As the first rays of dawn filtered through the crack in the curtains, there was a tentative knock on the bedroom door.

"Harry, dear?" called the voice of Molly Weasley. "Are you up yet? Breakfast is almost ready."

"Thanks," said Harry. "I'll be down in a moment."

***

The wedding was small by wizarding standards, but even then the Weasleys had to conjure a marquee on the lawn just to house all the guests, as the house was far too small to contain everyone. Harry was still in the house, being helped to dress by Ron and Charlie, his two best men. He thought it was just a case of putting on his clothes, but no, he soon discovered that his wedding clothes had to be put on in a certain order, and incantations had to be mumbled over each item as it was donned to make sure that he and Severus would have a long and happy life together. It helped knowing that Severus was going through the same thing with his two best men, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini.

Once his robe was draped on his frame, Ron closed the silver clasp and gave him a hug.

"Now for the wreath," said Charlie and Harry eyed the circlet of flowers in Charlie's hands with distaste. It just seemed so - well, so girly to wear a crown of flowers on his head.

Charlied laughed on seeing the expression on Harry's face. "Don't worry, Harry. Snape has to wear one too."

"You're joking, right? You're telling me that you got Severus to wear flowers in his hair? He wouldn't go for that!"

"It's traditional, of course he will. He's a pure-blood wizard, Harry. Do you really think he wouldn't do the wedding thing properly?"

Harry nodded, realising his unease didn't really come from having to wear flowers on his head, but from the knowledge that all wizarding weddings were considered invalid unless the consummation was witnessed after the bonding ceremony. First would come the joining of their hearts and souls, then there had to be the joining of their bodies. Since Harry was still impotent, he knew there was only one way it could be done. Severus was going to have to take him and Harry's knees buckled at the thought.

He tried to remind himself that it would be Seveurus, the man he loved. It wouldn't be a rape, but Harry was still scared all the same.

He sank down on the bed, feeling sick and faint at once.

"Harry?" asked Ron concerned. "Do you want me to fetch Madam Pomfrey?"

"No thanks, Ron. I'll be fine in a minute. Just nerves."

"There," said Charlie, settling the wreath in place. "All ready to meet your groom?"

Harry nodded, even though he wasn't at all sure that he was.

***

Dobby performed the ceremony, it was considered a great honour to have an Immortali bless the bonded couple, but Harry was just glad that it was a friend who was doing it. He called him Master Dobain out loud, but in his head he still thought of him as Dobby.

Harry barely remembered what the words were, what they'd vowed, he was so nervous, just repeating what he was supposed to and relying on Severus to know what bits were supposed to happen at each part of the ceremony.

"These two souls are now joined," intoned Dobain after the final vows had been said. "They are bound by blood and magic and cannot now be unbound."

There was a round of applause and as it died down, Dobain indicated for the witnesses and the newly bonded couple to go into the smaller tent beside the main marquee. Harry stumbled, but Severus held him firmly by the arm.

"Harry, we don't have to go through with this," whispered Severus.

"But we won't be considered properly married without it, will we?"

"No, but I won't force you into a bedding ceremony if you do not wish it."

"I want to," said Harry more firmly than he felt. "I just wish we didn't have an audience."

Severus took Harry's hand and led him into the tent, where the twelve witnesses were already assembled. Dobain, Arthur, Molly, Ron, Charlie, Bill, Hermione, Fred, George, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini were holding baskets of rose petals which they proceeded to scatter over the bed.

The four poster bed was draped with sheer curtains, which would give the illusion of privacy, without acutally giving it. About a foot outside the bed wre another set of posts with more curtains, almost like a tent within a tent.

"When you close the curtains, you won't be able to see us," Molly informed them and Harry knew without her spelling it out, that the witnesses would still be able to see them. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if he just ignored the fact that there were twelve people out there who would be watching him and Severus consecrate their union.

Harry sat down on the bed, shortly joined by Severus. Molly waved her wand and the curtains closed around them. Severus cast a silencing spell and at Harry's confused look he answered, "They don't have to hear, just see."

"God this feels weird," said Harry, running his fingers through his hair, forgetting he still had the wreath on his head and got stuck by a thorn for his trouble. He hissed, snatching the garland off his head and throwing it to the floor beside the bed.

"Let me see that," said Severus, taking Harry's hand in his and licking the blood from his finger. It reminded Harry of the first time they kissed, that same intent look on Severus' face as he watched Harry's eyes. Severus was looking at him so hungrily as though Harry was a dessert he wanted to devour. Harry's breath caught in his throat and he realised he wanted that too. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Severus' gaze dark gaze always made his heart beat just that little bit faster, his breath just that little bit more uneven, his skin just that little bit more sensitive.

As Severus stared at him, Harry forgot all about anyone else. They were the only two people in the world.

"Did I tell you how kissable you look in that outfit?" sighed Severus, letting Harry's finger slide from his mouth. "I could kiss you all day."

"Please," moaned Harry, just the thought of the man's kisses sending pleasurable shivers up and down his spine. "Please, Severus. I want to make you feel so good."

"You do make me feel good, Harry. You know that."

"I want to make you come," Harry whispered and licked the shell of his ear. Severus shuddered, and Harry felt an indescribable something in the pit of his belly. Severus turned his head and claimed Harry's mouth in a hungry kiss. Harry returned it with equal fervour, wanting nothing more than to feel that mouth, those lips on his. He felt a bit as though he was flying, a strange sensation to feel on the ground. The feelings he was trying to capture were elusive though, and he moaned into Severus' mouth, trying to just get more. Harry tore his mouth away. "I want you inside me," gasped Harry. "I want you to come inside me."

"Merlin," groaned Severus, leaning his head on Harry's shoulder. "Oh, Harry, I want that."

Harry could hardly believe that Severus had agreed so readily, he thought for sure Severus would protest at least once, saying that Harry wasn't ready, but maybe they'd passed that point by now. Severus kissed him again before puhsing Harry down on the pillows. Severus stood by the side of the bed, gazing at Harry with smouldering eyes. Harry's breath hitched as he felt the desire from the other man. He could see the ridge of Snape's cock straining against the front of his trousers and Harry so wanted to see it, to feel it against his skin. Harry moaned and wriggled on the bed, trying to get comfortable.

There was a strange, squirmy feeling in his chest and stomach as he thought of what they were about to do.

Severus dropped his robe to the floor before unlacing the front of his tunic and tugging it off over his head. Harry shimmied out of his own robe and undid the lacings of his tunic and did the same, feeling hot and cold at once as Severus continued to stare at him during his own disrobing.

The chest which was revealed to Harry's gaze would never win any awards for the perfect specimen of manhood, but to Harry it was beautiful. Severus was a little on the thin side, not very muscualr, except for his biceps and his chest and arms were criss crossed with pale scars from past whippings. The Dark Mark had faded from his arm when Voldemort fell, but Harry found his eyes drawn to the slightly redder skin there just the same.

Harry looked up and their gazes locked with an intensity that might have burned down the tent if Harry hadn't been in so much control of his power now. He couldn't wait any longer. Harry knelt on the bed, his hands just the right height to reach out and unbutton Snape's trousers. There were three buttons and Harry wasted no time in undoing them all. His heart was playing a weird tune on his ribs and he just wanted to touch, to see.

He tugged the trousers down over Snape's hips, smiling when Snape's black silk boxers were revealed.

"Don't you wear anything besides black and white?" laughed Harry, lightly stroking Snape's erection through the fabric. Snape hissed and held Harry's hand, but not gripping it too tightly.

"I suggest you refrain from that unless you want things to be over much sooner than anticipated."

Snape was as aroused as that? Harry nodded and sat back down on the bed, watching avidly as Snape removed his boxers and then folded all his clothes and put them on the floor. His legs were covered in fine black hairs, but he was as smooth chested as Harry. Snape's cock rose straight out of the little nest of hairs at his groin and already pre-come was glistening on the tip. Harry couldn't stop staring, but Snape didn't seem to mind and stood patiently by the bed while Harry's eyes gazed their fill.

"God, you're so beautiful, Severus," breathed Harry, looking up at him.

"I have a mirror, Harry. There's no need to flatter me."

"I'm not," protested Harry. "You are beautiful to me."

"Thank you," he said, two red roses blooming on his cheeks. "But I think you are a little over dressed, Mr. Potter-Snape," growled Severus and began to tug Harry's trousers down without further ado. Harry was only too happy to let him. He felt strange, a soft fluttering in his tummy, almost an ache, but not quite.

Severus' hands were shaking as he pulled Harry's trousers down. Harry lifted his hips up so that Severus could tug them down and off, his eyes never leaving Harry's the whole time. Harry felt as though he could drown in those deep, dark pools and he didn't want to be rescued. Snape's hand hovered at the waistband of Harry's briefs, as though waiting for Harry's permission to continue.

"Go on," said Harry. "Please." Snape didn't need telling twice and pulled them down Harry's legs. Harry felt a bit awkward with being naked in his unaroused state, but he wanted to feel Snape against his skin, not through clothes.

Sanpe gently pushed Harry back against the pillows and lay on top of him, Snape's erection falling in the hollow of Harry's hip. Harry arched his neck and pressed his mouth against Snape's. He could never get enough of kissing the man. They kissed for an eternity and Harry lost himself in the sensation of being kissed and having skin against skin, he thrust up against the man above him, twining his legs around Severus' back as though afraid he would escape.

"Severus, stop," he said between kisses. "It hurts." Something was digging into his stomach.

Severus looked down at him, concerned, his eyes widened a fraction. "Harry, you've got an erection."

"What?" gasped Harry, Severus shifted off him so that Harry could see it for himself.

"It feels almost like hurting at first, low down in your belly and sac, yes?"

"Yes," agreed Harry. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Severus smiled. "Nothing is wrong, Harry. It's just an arousal, that's how you're meant to feel."

Severus reached out and stroked Harry's erect cock. Harry had never felt anything like it, he mewled in pleasure as he was stroked and fondled by the man's capable hands. Almost of their own accord, Harry's legs widened as he stretched against Severus.

"Does it feel good?" Severus asked softly, still stroking to that same steady rhythm. With his other hand, Severus moved so that one of his fingers was teasing around Harry's entrance. Harry found himself wanting to be filled, wanting to have Severus inside him.

"No, it feels wonderful," sighed Harry, never knowing that his body would be able to give him such sensations. "Please, Severus, let me feel you in me. I want you inside."

"So eager, my Harry," smiled Severus as he rummaged about his discarded clothes for a vial of oil. Harry watched as he coated his fingers liberally, Harry flushed knowing where those fingers were going next. "Tell me if I hurt you."

Harry lay on the bed, his legs open wide, feeling wanton at how much of himself was on display, but the shocked gasp of appreciation from the man above him was worth it. Severus slowly circled his puckered entrance, rubbing and fondling, but not going in. In a few minutes Harry was writhing on the bed, desperate to be filled. "Oh, please, please!" he begged, not caring how desperate he sounded.

Severus relented on his teasing and slowly breached the entrance to Harry's body. He stiffened a little at first, but with the oil, it didn't hurt and Severus slid in easily, so Harry tried to relax as much as he could. Severus stretched him with two, three, then a fourth finger, making sure that Harry was as eager for the next stage as he could be. He kissed Harry deeply as the fourth finger went in, cutting of Harry's cry of distress. It was too much, he felt overstretched and it was getting painful, would Severus' cock be as painful inside him?

He tried to wriggle away, but Severus was too heavy on top of him. "Ssh, Harry, just relax. Bear down on my fingers, that's it." And then Severus did something to him inside, something that made the pain turn into a burst of pleasure and Harry was seeing stars.

"Oh, God! Oh, God!" Harry yelled. He was astounded at these new feelings, each one more powerful than the last. It was like being swept out to sea, wave after wave of ectasy pulsing from him. How could a body contain such joy and not combust from it? Severus was fire, he was ice and Harry did not know which would claim him first.

"Ready, Harry?" Severus asked with a smirk. Harry was boneless, melting against the bed and the man above him. He was hardly coherent enough to form a reply, he only nodded.

When he felt Severus' erection ready to enter him, he realised why Severus had used four fingers to stretch him. The man was very well endowed, but when he slid into Harry's body, after the stretching, there was no pain at all, only a great sense of fullness, of belonging, of completion.

"Severus," Harry breathed, wrapping his legs around Severus and pulling the man even further to him, as though they weren't close enough already.

"Harry," Severus was bathed in a light sheen of sweat, his hair hanging loose around his neck and shoulders. "Gods, Harry, you're so tight, so perfect." Then he moved and hit that sweet spot inside again and Harry writhed with want. "I don't think I'm going to last long." Severus gave a large thrust and Harry could feel the length of his husband fully sheathed inside him. His whole body was thrumming with what he now knew was desire.

"Then don't," said Harry. "I want to feel you come inside me. Where you belong."

Severus thrusted frantically into him, moaning, his voice husky with want and Harry thrust back as well as he could, being pinned beneath the weight of him. It hardly seemed a few moments before Severus stiffened and screamed wordlessly as he came and came, filling Harry with his seed. Harry clasped the wilting cock inside him, not letting it go just yet, but eventually it slipped out no matter how much Harry wanted it to stay there. He was chasing those elusive butterflies again, sure that he'd almost caught them, if only he'd had more time.

"Gods, Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't even take time to help you before I came."

"It's okay," said Harry, disappointed that he hadn't been able to come this time, but he was sure they would get to practice more and more often. "Maybe next time."

"Next time?" queried Severus. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, we've finished now, haven't we? We made love already."

"Harry, did you really think that? That I would come and just leave you hanging?" Severus leant down and kissed him, such a sweet and tender kiss that Harry felt tears in his eyes. "We're lovers, Harry and there are many ways of making love." Then Severus proved his point. He moved so that one of his thighs was pressed between Harry's legs and Harry thrust blatantly against the pressure.

Harry felt a strange urgency in his cock, almost like he was going to pee, he didn't think it could be that. He was sore and ached, and didn't really know what was going to happen or how it would feel or even if he could actually come at all. He'd never had an orgasm, but had heard descriptions of them and read about them.

"More!" Harry panted. "Oh, please, please!" He begged, unsure what he was asking for. Severus pressed down harder and began to lick and suck at the juncture of where Harry's neck met his shoulder. Harry howled.

Nothing could have prepared him for the feelings that swept through his body like a tidal wave. His cock swelled and throbbed and his whole body went into spasms as he arched up against Snape, scratching the man's back with his nails as he rode it out. "Severus, Severus! Oh! OH!" he wailed as he started orgasming for the first time ever. Four, five, six spurts as he spent himself against Snape's bare skin, his whole body shuddering and writhing with his release. He was crying too, the release of tension just too much and he hid his face on Severus' shoulder.

"Harry? Are you all right?" A soft kiss on his hair.

"I'm fine, I- I'm fine," he sobbed. "I didn't know it could be like that. That I could enjoy it."

Severus turned so that both of them were on their sides, facing each other. Severus smoothed Harry's hair away from his eyes and just stared at Harry for a long time. Somewhere in the distance a clock chimed. He didn't say anything, just held Harry until his tears subsided.

"I love you, Harry," he whispered, nuzzling Harry's neck.

"I love you too, Severus," said Harry, his throat raw, his eyelids drooping.

"Sleep, Harry," Severus said quietly and Harry drifted off in the knowledge that he was finally home.

***

Outside the confines of the bed, Master Dobain turned to the witnesses. "It is done," he said before disappering in a flash of bright, white light, that left the witnesses temporarily blinded. He was never seen again.

The remaining eleven witnesses agreed on one thing and one thing only.

As he disappeared, they were sure they saw the shadow of wings.

THE END

A/N: I would like to thank everyone who left me feedback on this story, which helped me to keep it going when the inspiration just wasn't there and gave me some ideas for how the story should go. It started out as a one shot, who would have thought it would end up with eighteen parts. :-)

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