TITLE: The Last Kiss
AUTHOR: Annette Gisby
EMAIL: annette.gisby@which.net
CATEGORY: MSR, Vignette
FEEDBACK: yes please!
ARCHIVE: Yes, just keep my name and email attached.
"If this is the last kiss
Let's make it last all night."
Meat Loaf
THE LAST KISS (1/1)
I'm shaking. I'm actually shaking with the force of my rage. They
can't do this. They just can't. But my rage is futile. They can
and they will. They are splitting us up. The X-files are to be
closed, no chance of re-instatement. Mulder and I are to be
assigned to different sections. Mulder is to go back to violent
crimes and I am stuck teaching at Quantico.
We are not to associate with each other. It's felt we are too
*close* and it was affecting our work. It's rubbish and Skinner
knows it. This is just an excuse to get rid of us without having
to pay severance money. I know Mulder won't stay if he's no
longer partnered with me, and I'm having doubts myself.
We only trusted each other, how could we work with anyone else?
I know that our re-assignments have nothing to do with Skinner.
It comes from higher up. From the nameless, faceless *THEM* who
are out to destroy us. Am I sounding a bit paranoid? Maybe,
but I know this is down to *THEM*. Is it paranoia when it's the
truth?
And you want to know the worst bit? *THEY* think we've been
involved romantically since our very first case. God, what
a waste. We could have had six years, but now we'll not even
have six days. We were never involved, not like that. Oh, I
know we thought about it. A lot.
The nearest we came to it was an aborted kiss in Mulder's hallway.
But it isn't because *THEY* think we are lovers that they want
to split us up. No, it's because we've finally gotten too close
to the truth that we've spent six years chasing, and they can't
have that, can they?
"You're going to leave, aren't you?" I ask Mulder as I try and
gather up some of my belongings. There is a stone lodged in my
chest. I can't cope with this, I can't. Never to see him again.
Never to hear him joke about our latest case. Never see him
eating those sunflower seeds that get into everything.
I feel the tears threaten and I turn away. I don't want him to
see me crying. I want to be strong. Strong, dependable Scully.
That's me, isn't it? So why do I feel I want to curl up in
a corner and bawl my eyes out?
I feel Mulder's hand on my shoulder and I can't hold back
any longer. I turn and sob against his chest, my fingers
tightening around his suit jacket, as thought by holding onto
his clothes I can hold onto him. But it's no use. He's
as elusive as a grain of sand trickling through my fingers.
"Ssh, Scully, it's okay," he whispers as his hands smooth over
my hair. My heart aches. No, it's my soul that's aching. Half
of my soul is being torn away from me and I know I'll never
recover. How can I recover when half of me is missing?
"Don't go, Mulder," I plead between sobs.
"I have to, Scully. You know that."
I know it and the knowledge sticks in my throat.
It makes sense for us to part. We're probably still being watched.
Mulder doesn't want to put me in danger. But I don't care. I want
to have him. Just once. Surely no-one could begrudge me that?
I reach up on tip-toes and kiss his cheek. There's wetness there,
he's been crying too. I turn my head and kiss him full on the mouth.
He deepens the kiss and I reach my arms around his waist, pinning
him to me. I don't want to let go. I never want to let go. We could
have had six years of this, why did we wait so long?
I feel Mulder harden against me and he pushes me away.
"We can't, Scully. We can't."
"Mulder, please! If I can't have you forever, let me have you
tonight. I know you have to go, but please, don't deny me
this. I know you want to."
"Of course I want to! That isn't the point. Do you want to
get us killed?"
"I'd die for you, Mulder. I know you'd do the same for me."
He stares at me for a long time, his hands on his hips, as
though he's about to reprimand me for some misdemeanour.
I feel his gaze on my face and then it travels downwards.
He caresses the whole of my body with his eyes and I feel
myself flush with desire. His eyes are a combination of green
and grey and I want to drown in those depths.
"Okay," he finally agrees, his voice husky. "But not here. I'll
go to your apartment after work."
I nod, hoping I can hold out that long.
I'm hoping something else as well. I'm hoping that wasn't our
last kiss.
I'm hoping it was the first.
END